Idiot of the Weekend Award Winner

I've heard of some dumb people doing some dumb things before. Hell, I know some really dumb people and have been there when they've done some really dumb things. And, believe it or not, I'm not above, uh, making a mistake myself. Yeah, I said it, alright? I admit it. I'm not perfect. I know, call the cops, lock up the pigs and cancel Christmas, Nick isn't perfect. But I don't think that I or anyone else I know, not even the absolute mo-rons, would be stupid enough to get two DUI's in one day.

What did he say?

You heard me right. Some guy here in Cincinnati got 2 DUI's in one day this past weekend. Actually, it wasn't the same calendar day, but it was within 24 hours on the same weekend, so for my ridiculing purposes, it was one day. So without getting too into details, a guy got arrested on a Friday afternoon, refused to take a chemical test, got arrested on suspicion of DUI, and bonded out of jail. For most of us, that would be a big deal and cause for us to just go home and lay low for the rest of the weekend. Nah, not this guy. Not only does he not lay low, he gets the cops called on him for obstructing traffic on Saturday afternoon. Didn't get pulled over or anything by a cop for weaving, or following too close, or anything like that, but brings it on himself for being parked somewhere and obstructing traffic. So guess what? The cops get there, and he's behind the wheel. This time, he submits to a breathalyzer and blows a .11. DUI number 2, less than 24 hours later, arrested, no bond, and without a doubt gets my idiot of the weekend award.

Now I have a theory, and I'll keep this short because my kids are hungry and, frankly, I don't feel like wasting my finger power to get too in-depth about how absolutely ridiculous this is. But I figure no one can be that dumb, so it had to be something else going on. Maybe the guy was just so damn drunk from the night before that he didn't realize he was still legally intoxicated 23 and a half hours later. Believe it or not, I may have been that drunk before. And if that were the case, I could possibly allow it. But why in the world would you park somewhere, obstructing traffic, and still be in the car when the cops got there if there was any chance at all you were still drunk? This guy is about as smart as a bag of wooden nickels.